


it's time to say goodbye to the earth and now my worthless life

by orphan_account



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Depression, Other, Self-Harm, Suicide, some 2doc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 15:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10027007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 2D has had enough.





	

it was the smell of breakfast downstairs that woke 2D and caused his stomach to ache with hunger. he sat up slowly trying to remember his last meal. while putting on a shirt and pants, he came to the conclusion that he ate last on saturday morning and it was now sunday. the hunger eventually pained him and he decided to head downstairs, much to his dismay. he had been avoiding the rest of the band since friday. he'd occasionally go downstairs and manage a small smile or at least a simple "'ello" but lately he hasn't been able to even fake one. his daily mood consisted of dismal thoughts and he even considered downing a bottle of his pain pills. the stress of life was getting to him, along with dealing with murdoc and his amount of fame. with these thoughts in mind, he hadn't been able to face the rest of the band until today.

his gaze was met with russel first. 2D didn't keep the gaze long enough to study his body language. he continued to grab a piece of toast and sit on the couch in the living room, quietly. russel and noodle exchanged concerned looks but didn't say anything for a while. russel couldn't help but notice how the already skinny boy's body was thinning and all he had was a piece of toast. not being the best cooker, Brussel stood up from his place on a chair to cook breakfast and hopefully get 2D to eat more.

2D was thinking about something else, however. something much more graphic than anyone could imagine the boy to think. he didn't have the energy to try to think of other things. he wondered if it really did feel better to take a blade to his skin and if it really did help. it'd be too notice, he concluded, and he couldn't risk anyone seeing the scars they'll leave. he then pondered about burning himself with his light he'd usually use for his cigarettes. it would be better than scaring his body. burns don't leave scars, he didn't think so. a small smile washed over his features.  
"eh, what's got 'D in such a chipper mood?" murdoc's voice sounded causing noodle to turn down the volume of her movie. she shrugged and continued to watch it. russel couldn't hear as he was in the kitchen. 2D looked up at the man.  
"spit it out, would ya?" murdoc grew annoyed standing there. 2D adverted his attention to the tv, completely disregarding the older man. but then he turned back and spoke quietly, "muds, 'ave ya got a light on ya?" confused, murdoc felt his pockets around and pulled out one, throwing it at his head. he walked out of the room, grumbling curses.

leaving the toast in its place, 2D sat up and began to walk to his room. "'D, if you're hungry later, i, uh, made some pancakes." he attempted to sound sweet. 2D smiled and let out a small 'thank you, russ,'.

2D undressed, only leaving his boxers on. this was his first time to ever attempt anything like this. he wasn't sure what to expect. with the lighter lit, he brought it to his pale skin. it burned but he still brought it closer and left the pain linger. then a loud knock sounded at his door. this caused him to bring the metal to his skin, causing him surprising pain. 2d yelped in pain just as murdoc opened his door and widened his eyes at the sight.  
"are you bloody mad? you could've asked for a cigarette, y'know!" 2D dropped the lighter, a stuttering mess.  
"eh, i-i, - didn't-"  
"shut up- fucking hell, 2D." murdoc walked in the room and slammed the door. 2D glanced at the window with a bad idea in mind.  
"i don't even know what to think. i cant- what the hell. i'll be back, stay here."2D could've sworn he heard a hint of concern in his voice but was already out his window before he could confirm it.  
the morning air was chilly and 2D should've put clothes on because there he was on the side of the street half naked. he figured he had to do this quick. the bottle of pills he had grabbed in a hurry was in his hands and he poured them into his hand, all twenty of them. 2D walked for a while before he found a cozy park away from his shared apartment.  
he began thinking about the others. he'd miss russel's kindness and worry. and his sick drum playing. he'd definitely miss noodle and the movies they'd bond over. murdoc. 2D suppose's he could see some kindness and sincerity in his actions, if he squinted.  
coming back into reality, he eyed the pain killers. pain killers, he thought. kill my pain, he mumbled under his breath. guilt washed over him as he swalled the pills two by two. he lay there on the bench and hoped someone would take him for a hippie or something. his mind dulled down as the pills began their effect. 2D realized he shouldve written a note but it was too late. and beside, he wouldnt know what to say when all this time, he's been fighting his battle alone.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a vent fic. please leave comments on how to improve. thanks for reading.


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